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Anyone on the TWW and After due on 8/07/18 - Part 5

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  • So to me it sounds like go from the 6th xxx
  • Morning trying,

    I completely understand your frustration. Have you told him how your feeling? Do you think it will help of you did. You know are all here for you to rant away sweetie.  Xxx
  • I have tried but falls on deaf ears or maybe he just doesn't understand I just hate the way he controls it all or that's what it feels like 😢 xxx
  • Hi Trying- sorry that your OH is behaving this way. I sincerely hope that its just the pressure thing and not just him being controlling bcos he knows how desperate you are. 

    My partner does know when my fertile week is, at times he delivers and atimes not. But there was one time when I refused sex during my fertile window and said I just wasn't in the mood. He was surprised. He asked the next day and I said the same thing, but was willing to help him in other ways. He became worried and asked ' is today not d-day?'  So we were able to talk..I think it was then he understood that both partners are under pressure especially in long term ttc.

    Sadly,  I've read stories of partners just being mean and feeding off our desperation. And some of them would have male factor infertility issues. 

    The ladies that have the consistent 'LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY HUN' types don't know how lucky they are.  Just one less thing to worry about. 
    Sorry for rambling ladies. This topic is sore with me.
  • Trying my oh was EXACTLY the same! I didn’t tell him when I was fertile so when we was to bd at the right time then it was all well and good, but when he didn’t want to bd at the right time cos he was tired or changed his mind from wanting to use to make me cry! It’s only recently when I said about trying harder and asking if he does actually want a baby with me that he has stepped up a bit more and said he wants to try harder. Maybe be a bit blunt with your oh and say it doesn’t feel like he wants a baby as much as you! Sounds harsh but it worked for me 😂 hoping he comes around for you, sending hugs xxx 


  • Flowers2412Flowers2412 Regular
    edited Jul 10, 2019 8:29AM
    Reading what I just wrote I suppose the fact I didn’t tell him when I was fertile wasn’t good but I still assumed if we were trying for a baby you would bd when you can? Men are funny creatures and they say women are bad lol xxx
  • Good morning ladies!
    This is a rather interesting topic that I was thinking about lately as well. I think the women are more "in control" of the TTC as we know when our window is and they slowly start to feel like some "providers" who have to be alert at all times so when we say ti's time they must perform. At the beginning of the TTC they find it exciting and fun, but as the months go on it becomes a chore for them and it doesn't matter how hard you try you can't keep up the casual sexlife you once had. I understand there are couples who just do it all the time, but after 8-10months of TTC and timing etc. I think suffering from this pressure is completely understandable and normal. 
    My DH wants a baby just as much as I do and we did have issues before during my fertile window as we are still human and not machines. It is an awful feeling and incredibly frustrating, but I enjoy BDing a lot more outside the window... 
    The solution? Only that we need to be patient and accept the fact that sometimes it doesn't happen the way we'd like it to. Honestly since we received our appointment for IVF I feel the pressure went down and I feel maybe the assisted conception is the solution. It does sound bad, but I need to say it out loud regardless. Sorry for the long post, hope it helps to hear you're not the only one feeling the pressure can be overwhelming sometimes...
  • Ags- I agree with you. And like you, I feel that the pressure has drastically reduced after we started IVF. 
  • Going tbh with you guys there has been at least twice when he has said in anger that we are not trying anymore...last time his exact words was "hope you have released your last egg as not having another f...cking one" I dont know if he is feeling the pressure or likes being in control knowing how desperate I want one I really hope it's the first but just dont know 😢 xxx
  • Trying I’m really sorry he has said that to you, it’s a bit heartbreaking reading that as I know if my oh said that to me I would be devastated. Maybe the pressure is getting to him but even so that doesn’t give him the right to talk to you like that! I think you may need to have a proper sit down with him and get him to talk, I know it’s easier said then done! I used to worry about talking about ttc with my oh cos he is defo a tough egg to crack! Sending you positive thought and hugs xxx
  • Trying- hun to be honest, it reads like there's more going on with him than just the ttc. I'm sorry if I sound preachy, but have you considered counselling of some sorts?
  • Trying, I completely agree with what everyone else has said. My OH drives my bonkers at times. He also knows when I'm ovulating and has used it to his advantage at times but by sitting down and talking about it he's let me know he feels used at certain times of the month and I get it.  There could be something going on with you oh that you're not aware of. However, it's unfair for him to say them things to you. I think you definitely need to sit him down and let him know that what he said to you was hurtful. Hopefully he will let you know he is feeling in a better way. We are all here for you Hun. Xxx
  • Thanks guys suppose I'm just scared to talk again to him in case he says he does not really want a baby you are all wonderful and a g8 support system xxxx
  • Oh has just called the GP and he still hasn't looked at the SA results! What a nightmare! 
  • Hi Sas, that is very frustrating! Can he ask for the motility percentage and the sperm count? 
    Trying, we are here for you always Hun, but I am concerned this is not something we can really resolve, you will have to sit down and discuss what is the best way to move forward. I know it is terrifying to even think about that he might says he doesn't want to keep trying, but maybe it would be even worse to have a child he doesn't want? I would tell him how much you love him and want to have this baby, you two are in this together. TTC can be very hard on couples, you need to watch out for the signs and do something sooner rather than later. Sending you lots of hugs!!
  • Sas- how busy is this GP surgery that a GP cannot quickly pull up one's details and interpret results? It must be frustrating for both of you.
    I hope that they are not messing around. Have you guys tried paying them a visit? 
  • Thanks girls. Oh asked the receptionist for the results but she said she couldn't give them as they need to be signed off by a doctor. Thing is I work for the trust that conducted his test so could go on the system and get them myself. Obviously I would never do it in a million years but it's getting me even more anxious! The results have gone back to my named GP and not the GP I saw which is a pain.  I think that if nothing is done by tomorrow I will call in and find out what's happening. The receptionist did say she sent a message to the GP yesterday and that he has some admin time today so FC it gets sorted. Sorry for the rant! 
  • Sas, really hope you get the results soon hunni really dont need the stress do you 🙄 xxx
  • That’s very that’s very annoying SAS, my hubby has a call with the gp scheduled tomoro to go over the results but the girl on the phone was able to tell him that the count was high, but morphology is still a problem and therefore so is motility. The dr is gonna discuss further and tell him what happens next. 
    Trying im sorry ur having such a hard time with your other half. I understand your concerns, but I think you deffo need to sit down and have a proper conversation with him. Men reply don’t tho l of the emotions we go through, I think because they don’t behave the same way. 
    What age are you guys? Can you play the “times marching on” game with him? Maybe shake him up a bit.
  • Genebella, I am 39 and he turns 40 next month when I went for a preconception apt beginning of last may she said to me that due to starting my periods at age 9 my predicted age for menopause as in all finished not the start is 42 maybe 43 if I'm lucky she told my OH this also so he knows time is not on outside xxx
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