Does anyone have a sling or baby carrier reccomendation? I've been looking at reviews and I'm not sure whether to spend extra getting one that will last more than a few months or just picking a cheaper option.
How is everyone finding going out? I've only been out a few times for a walk around the park (at either 5am or 10pm to avoid people!) X
@HeartburnMama iv got one of those material slings that you just like use YouTube videos to learn the different wraps... Will add a photo, got mine of ebay for about £20.... Yea iv only been out with my partner as its just a massive struggle with a toddler as well not only that but the double pram doesn't fit through our front door or our gate so I have to carry it out down the path and outside the gate,put it up then wrestle my son into it and go back for the baby or vise versa... I could have done with a double that was one in front of each other and not side by side, Odins at an odd age though coz he's kind of to big to be in a pram but I can't drive and he just won't walk with me... He runs off and throws tandrums so i can't really let him walk and it doesn't really matter anyway bevause to go somwhere walking is to far for him to walk anyway takes about 45 mins to walk to shops near me not that I'd be going there with all the covid stuff going on... So seem as my partners been off work we have been to the park for a walk a cupple of times, much easier with 2 of us... Been keeping the double pram in his boot and with sombody else there it's just more eyes to watch odin and more hands when he runs off.... Feeling a bit like I'm going to be tapped inside alot we do have a single pram though so if all this covid stuff sorts out in the next 6 months odin will be going to nursery meaning I can get stuff done with ozzy and the single pram if I want to go out somwhere x
@Rebecca1992 thanks! Yes I might try one of those before forking out £150 on a carrier.
It's such a strange time to be stuck indoors but I'm trying to just be very thankful we are all safe and well. I'd be too anxious to go to the supermarket or anything anyway. Hoping to be able to get out and about more soon xx
How old is he? My little boy is three on the 19th and I have rains when we go out which really helps. I’m getting my double from my mums today like you I might struggle getting out the house only because someone parks there can very close to our drive. Which double do you have Maybe you could sell the one you have and buy a second hand one off Facebook marketplace or eBay ?
@Lillian2410 iv got this pram but think I'm gonna have to look for somthing else My son is 3 on 18th December so he's like 2 and half now, we have tried reins but he just threw a strop on the floor when he couldn't run in the direction he wanted to go.. Then refused to move so he had to be carried kicking and screaming 🙄 bit it's been a little while now so maybe I should try again see if he's any better x
My son doesn’t do that on his rains but he does it when walking ..: he’s a very stroppy boy gets frustrated easily because his langauage skills still arnt the best but we are getting better he was defo very difficult around 2.5 when I was in my early pregnancy. We don’t go out often so he’s like the pushchair and rains. My husband just took him to the park and he just cried at his baby cousins who is 1 and just kept screaming at him for no reason 🤷🏼♀️
Girls I just need to get this off my chest because I just feel useless. Since coming home from hospital I’ve felt useless obviously having an emergency c section alone came with issues of being able to look after myself let alone my newborn and my one year old. Bit of a back story before I had Summer I did everything for Callie, my husband just sat back and left me to it I did every nap time every night time, Bath, dinner, snacks you name it. Me and Callie were together 24/7 especially with lock down as well. I went in for my induction and Callie stayed with my parents for two nights then my husband had her back and for 2 nights then I finally came home after 5 days. In that time Callie and my husband developed a lovely relationship which was great to see that she finally was a daddy’s girl and that he actually enjoyed spending time with her! Fast forward to 17 days of Summer being here I feel a true hole in my heart that Callie no longer needs mummy she’s happier doing everything with daddy, she says daddy all day whereas this was once mummy and obviously because I can’t do anything for her due to my stitches so I just have to sit back and do little. It’s just really upset me that my husband weren’t bothered about her before as he just let me do it and now she wants him only, I feel like I’ve lost my little girl all because I had a csection and I feel like if I never had one I wouldn’t be feeling pushed out. I know this probably sounds like a real stupid issue and that I sound like I’m so jealous of my husband and sound like I’m a 10 year old but I honestly feel unwanted especially as he whole first year I’ve spent with her has pretty much been me and her and my husband will do bits if I ask him. He then makes comments that I smothered her to much with cuddles and rocking her to sleep and that he doesn’t do that for her now and she’s got to old for it, I feel like his then questioning my parenting skills when in fact all I’ve tried to do is love her and enjoy being a mummy, now I feel like I can’t do that with Summer because I’ll be judged. I know it’s all just hormones and baby blues I’ve had a few days of feeling down and I hate my new body and that I am no longer able to help Callie do things right now and to even pick her up. I just feel like the whole birth experience was traumatic and not how I’d planned it and I feel like that’s impacted my mind and obviously ability to look after Callie. I’ve spoken to my husband and all he says is I’m being silly and that Callie loves me, yes I know she does but the feeling of being unwanted and that she’d rather be with daddy than mummy now breaks my heart. I’ve been spending most the day just cuddling Summer because right now I know she needs me 100% and doesn’t need daddy so I’m doing everything for her.
I don’t know really where I’m going with this but I just feel crap, just feel useless and my husband makes me feel shit if I say I’ll help him with the washing up and his like no you should be resting I don’t want to rest all day I want to do stuff I’m bored of being sat doing nothing and then his like well I’ll have to stay off work an extra week because I can’t get through a day with both kids as I struggle. Baring in mind his allowed 6 weeks paternity his only opted for 3 weeks so I don’t see why his making me feel guilty for taking another week he literally doesn’t understand the surgery I’ve been through and yes whilst he sees me up and about most the time I’m doing it because I just have to get on with it, he keeps saying I need to rest but then on the other hand his struggling to keep house tidy, look after Callie do all shopping etc... all I’ve wanted to do is help but then it’s thrown back in my face that I need to rest and it’ll be my fault if my stitches open.
Ahh I don’t know just feel very sensitive and I guess it’s normal I know I had a few sensitive weeks with Callie last time, I just feel like my csection has stopped me enjoying my first couple weeks home and what should be time I can spend with my husband going on walks but we’ve done nothing.
Sorry for moaning I just needed to write it down and make some sense of how I’m feeling 😞 hope your all doing ok sorry to dampen your days! Xxxxx
@Lillian2410 yea sounds my like my son, mine also doesn't communicate the best yet and he gets very over excited very easily making it so difficult when we are out very hard to control his behaviour x
@Chkitty honestly callie will do this multipul times, I know odin has at first I was a bit like, hmm feel a bit pushed out now because like you I did bloody everything for him and spent every min of every day with him but it is a good thing it gives you a little break, callie still loves you just we muxh as she did, it's just a faze, next week it might be you again and then instead of either of you it might be a toy she's obsessed with instead.... She will soon be back needing you, when things go back to normal and your partner goes back to work things will take back more of a routine leaving you with her most of the time so I wouldn't worry .. Spending more time with her dad is just new to her, she loves you both... Try getting your partner to take summer to another room for a little bit and just sit on the floor and play with callie for half an hour and spend some quality time together, if you can get on the floor I know everybodys recovery is different, I wish I could sit and rest I just seem to lack the actual ability to sit down I'm always doing somthing it's like a tick lol.... I got up after 12 hours after my section and dressed my self and tidied the hospital cubical and packed my bag to leave.... Left the next day and came home and cleaned the house... I know I shouldn't have done any of it and the midwife has already told me off for it... Oops... Just don't worry about anything callie is still a baba her self and she will soon come round and want her mummy... It could be that because you have the baby she is reluctant to come over so she's gone to dad? Give summer to dad and see if she then avoids dad... And as for your new body, it's beautiful and amazing you grew 2 whole humans! I don't know what you don't like but I have learned to love my stretch marks and wiggly bits the marks are like built in memory's of a time u spent with my baby's when it was just us, tiger stripes are beautiful... Your beautiful mama and your girls love you lots and they need you xx
@Chkitty - everything @Rebecca1992 said is so true! You haven’t lost your little girl, she’ll be obsessed with you again soon don’t worry! I do understand why you’re feeling the way you do though so don’t beat yourself up about it! Just do what aids your recovery and helps your family! This brief time of healing will be over before you know it and I’m sure you’ll end up longing for this time where hubby did washing up whilst you just got to cuddle Summer all day 😂
In regards to your traumatic birth I know you can go to your midwife and talk about it. They should explain why things happened the way they did and help you through any trauma you’re suffering. It’s important you come to terms with it and don’t let it become PTSD - I realise that sounds dramatic but honestly it can become a form of it. Your Mental health is important. You need to take care of #1 *hugs*
Before Georgie came we struggled with my son, bed time was a nightmare and ended up sitting with him for hours. He was a mummies boy too I did everything and since georgies come he’s developed a bond with his dad exactly like u said. I’m now 5 weeks on and have healed ! Minus the ridiculous mastitis that I’ve still got! We are interacting a lot more now and he needs his mummy again except now daddy’s nailed bedtime he’s got him in a great routine and he loves time with his daddy too. I was abit like you at first but now I’m taking the positives. He now has two people to rely on and I know georgie is my last baby so I get to enjoy the time I have with her now. My son was sooo poorly when he was born that everything with him was hospital appointments and constantly worrying about his health it’s nice to worry a normal amount and enjoy her 💜 I’m sure you will get a better balance the more you start feeling normal again
@Chkitty sorry you are feeling that way, but like the others have said she’ll soon be back to being a mummy’s girl, it’s the novelty of having her dad around so much I’m sure!
@Lillian2410 I’ve got mastitis now too 🙈 I started with a temp yesterday and then felt really shaky and dizzy. Got antibiotics last night, I’ve been in the shower this morning to try and clear the blockage, I had some thick, yellowish milk come out and some clogs. Hoping that I’ve got rid of most of it x
That sounds really positive you should start feeling better now. I’ve litrally had it since about day 5 after she’s born and I think I’ve only had 10 days off antibiotics and a stay in hospital I’ve just had course after course so far as it’s not clearing up. I’ve been on medication now for a week to stop my milk it’s not something they normally use but they will for medical reasons which this is. My milk is drying up but the pain is still really bad. I’m hoping that after this next course and these tablets I’ll be fine but it’s really took it out of me. The worse thing is the temp and the body aches luckily mine have settled down now
@Lillian2410 that doesn’t sound pleasant, bet you are so fed up with it. I’ve never had it before but it’s wiped me out and I’ve only had it since yesterday so god knows how you are feeling! Fingers crossed your milk dries up and you are sorted soon X
@Chkitty please please please dont think you have lost your little girl. It's not your fault and probably isn't even anything to do with you having to take a backseat. My daughter did the exact same around when she turned one and it lasted for around 6-8 months. It killed me but she just didn't care about me anymore 😂 literally at our wedding she was 18 months old and I'm in 2 pictures with her she refused to let me carry her or her mummy - she just wanted my mum (her oma) or my husband!!! Bloody rude when I put all the work in for the first year of her life 😂
@Chkitty I hope you're feeling better. I don't have any older children but it really rang true with what you said about your husband. I find myself getting annoyed when my husband doesn't immeadiaty hand me back the baby if he cries and get jealous as they seem to share quality time while I'm just a feeding and cleaning machine.
@Lillian2410 thank you for sharing your experience, I've been reading about it. It's annoyed me as all the pressure I got from the (albeit well-meaning) midwives about pumping and feeding.. not once we're any complications mentioned to me.
When I struggled with pumping they told me to pump more and get up more (more!) in the night between feeds! When I finally gave up the painful pumping and just breastfed only I've been so much happier. No one even mentioned combination feeding as an option. Really crazy how different everyone's experience is xx
I can’t see why they push pumping if baby is getting enough milk from breastfeeding alone unless it is for you. I combine fed for a few days but I just have to much milk hence why I’ve had to stop breastfeeding. Georgie is happy on formula although we’ve had to use infacol as she’s alittle unsettled with her tummy
@Lillian2410 on bless her. I just wish they'd presented more options, but yes eventually I realised there was little point in pumping... So no idea why they pushed it so much! Glad your little one is thriving
Monty has started snorting today but only when he does a big cry... like a snorting for air intake. Very loud! I'll call the doctor about it in the morning but had anyone else experienced this?
Replies
How is everyone finding going out? I've only been out a few times for a walk around the park (at either 5am or 10pm to avoid people!) X
It's such a strange time to be stuck indoors but I'm trying to just be very thankful we are all safe and well. I'd be too anxious to go to the supermarket or anything anyway. Hoping to be able to get out and about more soon
My son is 3 on 18th December so he's like 2 and half now, we have tried reins but he just threw a strop on the floor when he couldn't run in the direction he wanted to go.. Then refused to move so he had to be carried kicking and screaming 🙄 bit it's been a little while now so maybe I should try again see if he's any better x
feel shit if I say I’ll help him with the washing up and his like no you should be resting I don’t want to rest all day I want to do stuff I’m bored of being sat doing nothing and then his like well I’ll have to stay off work an extra week because I can’t get through a day with both kids as I struggle. Baring in mind his allowed 6 weeks paternity his only opted for 3 weeks so I don’t see why his making me feel guilty for taking another week he literally doesn’t understand the surgery I’ve been through and yes whilst he sees me up and about most the time I’m doing it because I just have to get on with it, he keeps saying I need to rest but then on the other hand his struggling to keep house tidy, look after Callie do all
shopping etc... all I’ve wanted to do is help but then it’s thrown back in my face that I need to rest and it’ll be my fault if my stitches open.
hope your all doing ok sorry to dampen your days! Xxxxx
@Chkitty honestly callie will do this multipul times, I know odin has at first I was a bit like, hmm feel a bit pushed out now because like you I did bloody everything for him and spent every min of every day with him but it is a good thing it gives you a little break, callie still loves you just we muxh as she did, it's just a faze, next week it might be you again and then instead of either of you it might be a toy she's obsessed with instead.... She will soon be back needing you, when things go back to normal and your partner goes back to work things will take back more of a routine leaving you with her most of the time so I wouldn't worry .. Spending more time with her dad is just new to her, she loves you both... Try getting your partner to take summer to another room for a little bit and just sit on the floor and play with callie for half an hour and spend some quality time together, if you can get on the floor I know everybodys recovery is different, I wish I could sit and rest I just seem to lack the actual ability to sit down I'm always doing somthing it's like a tick lol.... I got up after 12 hours after my section and dressed my self and tidied the hospital cubical and packed my bag to leave.... Left the next day and came home and cleaned the house... I know I shouldn't have done any of it and the midwife has already told me off for it... Oops... Just don't worry about anything callie is still a baba her self and she will soon come round and want her mummy... It could be that because you have the baby she is reluctant to come over so she's gone to dad? Give summer to dad and see if she then avoids dad... And as for your new body, it's beautiful and amazing you grew 2 whole humans! I don't know what you don't like but I have learned to love my stretch marks and wiggly bits the marks are like built in memory's of a time u spent with my baby's when it was just us, tiger stripes are beautiful... Your beautiful mama and your girls love you lots and they need you xx
In regards to your traumatic birth I know you can go to your midwife and talk about it. They should explain why things happened the way they did and help you through any trauma you’re suffering. It’s important you come to terms with it and don’t let it become PTSD - I realise that sounds dramatic but honestly it can become a form of it. Your Mental health is important. You need to take care of #1 *hugs*
My daughter did the exact same around when she turned one and it lasted for around 6-8 months. It killed me but she just didn't care about me anymore 😂 literally at our wedding she was 18 months old and I'm in 2 pictures with her she refused to let me carry her or her mummy - she just wanted my mum (her oma) or my husband!!!
Bloody rude when I put all the work in for the first year of her life 😂
@Lillian2410 thank you for sharing your experience, I've been reading about it. It's annoyed me as all the pressure I got from the (albeit well-meaning) midwives about pumping and feeding.. not once we're any complications mentioned to me.
When I struggled with pumping they told me to pump more and get up more (more!) in the night between feeds! When I finally gave up the painful pumping and just breastfed only I've been so much happier. No one even mentioned combination feeding as an option. Really crazy how different everyone's experience is xx
Monty has started snorting today but only when he does a big cry... like a snorting for air intake. Very loud! I'll call the doctor about it in the morning but had anyone else experienced this?