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If you've just miscarried and need some support



  • Summer08Summer08 Regular
    edited Dec 18, 2019 7:40PM
    Hi all! I am so sorry for all of your losses! It’s comforting to know other people feel the same as I do. This is a great group that we can support each other. I am 34 and just recently married. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant in the first place I think it may have had a lot to do with my sister trying to have another baby. She is 40 and currently seeing a fertility dr. She has involved all of us in her journey and I guess I got really overwhelmed with all she was telling me she was going through and thinking that was going to happen to me! I did end up falling pregnant within 3 months of actively trying but ended up losing the baby at 8 weeks. I am so upset about it but I am going to continue to try and do what I need to. I hate that I feel I’m running out of time due to my age and the stress of my sisters fertility issues. I have asked her to not talk with me about what she is going through since it gives me such anxiety. I feel bad but I need to do what’s best for me and my husband. 
    Currently I am waiting for my hcg to go down so we can try again and I also have an appointment on the 27th for fertility dr to see if there is anything I can do to prevent this from happening again
  • @Summer08 that sounds really stressful I'm sorry! It's so hard not to get affected by other people's fertility issues. It's so scary how many people find it difficult. Hopefully you will have another pregnancy soon and this will be a successful one. I found fertility accupuncture really helpful for me, and so relaxing. I have already spoken to my acupuncturist about my miscarriage and I'm seeing her again in January to get my body ready to try again. I hope you find a way to relax. It's so unfair that you know stress makes things worse, and then knowing that just makes you stress more! Xx
  • I named my baby a gender-neutral name so that it didn't matter what sex she or he was, but I pictured him as a boy. The name didn't amplify my grief, like I was initially afraid that it might. It actually gave me peace, because I felt like I had properly honoured my baby, by giving him a name and finding ways to make sure he was never forgotten.
  • @Sunflowerkisses anything that helps you is a good thing. I think my 2nd loss was a boy too but a gender neutral name is a good idea. Your sister sounds like she is really struggling too- must be really hard. I always think that fertility or Ttc or losing a baby is so lonely that no one really understands. It can be such a long, difficult journey. There’s no real reason to think that your sister’s difficulty means it will be for you. You could both really help and support each other. Fingers crossed for a bfp really soon.xxxx
  • Hi ladies, I thought I'm coping quite well this time, but it's such an up and down I'm going insane. I got my b12 shot today and physically I'm revived, but mentally I don't know. I know I will be pregnant very soon and all I can think of is, will they help me? What if they will not want to help me? What if I mc again... 5th? How many can I take before it destroys me and my family? I really don't know what to do with myself anymore. My dh seems strong but I'm scared one day he will break. 
  • @MadDoda you are in such a stressful situation! Do you feel the drs are listening to you anymore now? It must be so hard to know what you need and feel like no one is listening. Is there a charity for the health problem you have that may be able to give any advice or support in helping you get the drs to take you more seriously? Xxx
  • @MadDoda you are in such a stressful situation! Do you feel the drs are listening to you anymore now? It must be so hard to know what you need and feel like no one is listening. Is there a charity for the health problem you have that may be able to give any advice or support in helping you get the drs to take you more seriously? Xxx
    Well gp referred me, now I gotta wait for appointment, I'm confident there is a high chance I will be pregnant before that. And then I will go straight to early pregnancy unit, where they tried to help last time. But I read and completed my theory and I think that progesterone may not be enough to save possible pregnancy. And I don't know if they will give me anything else. 
  • @MadDoda firstly, you are doing brilliantly. It’s totally normal to be up and down but you’re doing great to be helping others on here and looking after your little boy etc when you’ve just lost your baby. 

    You have got a great mindset, knowing you’ll get pregnant again soon but don’t forget it’s not a weakness to have a bad day or being emotional. 

    I don’t know enough scientifically but ask all the questions you can to see if they can give you anything else as well as the progesterone.

    I asked for the steroids I needed, as I was borderline with my platelet number and my consultant gave me them. 

    I like to think my baby would’ve survived anyway as I’m convinced she was a strong fighter, I don’t even know if this is possible but could you get lucky and could a baby survive????

    i hope the next pregnancy results in a lovely new baby for you. You really deserve
  • @EmJ3 I don't need questions, I know what else I may need, immunosuppresants... And that's no fun, I dunno if they will give it to me this easily. The more I understand the less I see hope for survival without meds. 

    Thank you for being kind to me, I'm not sure if I'm helpful, I overthink a lot of things and cause confusion often. I want to hope that miracle can happen, but my rational head tells me, that's not possible. 
  • @MadDoda your knowledge will definitely help you but don’t give up on miracles either- I believe in them! I’m not as scientific as you though, I’m a little more ‘airy fairy’, probably less rational than you. I teach English Lang and lit so I’m overly emotional and look into everything anyone says.

    i do believe that you will get your baby though- I think your baby will find a way- with as much scientific help as you can get them!!! Just don’t give up! 
  • @MadDoda- I’ll hope for a miracle for you.xxxx
  • @EmJ3 thank you for always bring around and cheering me on, I'm very grateful. It means a lot
  • @MadDoda not a problem. I’m always here if you need anything. You will get through this- good things will
  • Sending you lots of love @MadDoda and like @EmJ3 says, hoping for a miracle baby for you. I'm sure you'll get there one way another. Really hope you dont have to go through another miscarriage ❤
    I'm at the hospital today for my follow up scan. Feeling pretty awful to be honest. I know baby hasn't come away as I've only had a little bit of spotting. Feeling quite anxious about what's next and when it might happen, especially with Christmas being so close. I really want my son to have a normal and happy Christmas.  
    Hope you're all feeling ok today, thinking of you all xxxx
  • Awww @MrsB2010 try not to worry too much- just see what they say. Being close to Christmas does seem to make it worse because of your little boy. Fingers crossed things are sorted for you as quickly as
  • sending you lots of love you strong lady @MadDoda you know a lot more than most people and clearly more than some of the drs! praying for your 2020 baby and a healthy pregnancy. 
    @mrsb2010 hope everything goes okay today, thinking of you xx

  • Thank you, the hospital appointment went fine. I'm back on sunday for vacuum removal under local anaesthetic. It seemed the best option. Hoping I've made the right decision xx
  • I would say that's the best decision physically and emotionally. 
    take care of yourself, you may be drained for a few days afterwards but rest up and be kind to yourself xx
  • @Mrs B 2010 that is Defo the best option physically and emotionally. Good luck- be strong and we are here for
  • Thank you xx
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