Wow that's amazing @Catlady220 well done you! Take it easy and if it's too much dont be afraid to say you cant do it. It's so good that you're being so strong, but make sure you're kind to yourself and only do what you feel able to. Good luck xxx
Hopefully throwing yourself back into normal life will help. If you're finding it tough feel free to come and chat. I was lucky to be able to take 4 weeks off, and still really struggled to go back. But it has helped getting back into my normal routine, I definitely think it supports recovery. Good luck! Xx
Absolutely, putting on a brace face is the most exhausting thing ever. I still often cry on the way home from work, as the effort of being 'happy' gets to me so much. But I do genuinely enjoy the normality and company as well. I would love to feel 'normal' again but I think all we can do is find a new normal. Grieve for our beautiful babies we never got to meet, look forward to the future, and accept that things will never be the same but that we'll be ok xxx
@“Mrs B 2010” you are so right. No one has really summed it up for me before but when I lost my baby boy, I could go to work and pretend but as soon as I got in my car to drive home, I’d start crying. I wasn’t even off the school car park. I couldn’t really work it out but I think you’re right- it was the effort of the pretend smile all day. There was something comforting about going to work but it took a lot of energy when I was really grieving! Thank you for helping me to understand some of the tears!
You will feel normal again but you’ll never be exactly the same- it’s impossible I think.
I still cry over my angel babies and it’s been 2 years next month since I lost Jacob. That’s just my new normal.xxxx
Hi all, I can’t believe I am here again. In October after “kinda” TTC for 4 months, I found out I had a blighted ovum. It started with bleeding and cramps which brought me to the ER. I have heard of a lot of MCs, fertility issues, and even stillbirths in my larger circle. I always was worried I’d struggle to get pregnant or not be able to as it’s honestly the only thing I’ve ever wanted in this world. Well it looks like I can get pregnant, just not keep them. I had barely got to enjoy the sensation of pregnancy before it was ripped away at 6 weeks. I had the D&C to get it over with quick but I honestly felt fairly ok and at peace after. More than less women I know have had MCs and I felt like no big deal!
Fast forward to January of this year after only 2 period cycles since my miscarriage and I found out I was pregnant again. We only DTD once in the month (partner travels for work) and I had a negative test after missing 1 day of my period. I felt off so I waited till my period was firmly missed then I took a test again. Lo and behold, pregnant!!!!! Perfect timing (I would deliver 1 month before my 29th bday) and my partner and I are in a great place so it all felt right. I also feel SO insanely ready. Well my HCG levels were rising slow... I went to ER today worried about an ectopic and I found out it’s not ectopic but I was told to prepare to miscarry. I’m measuring a week behind and have a “large” SCH (bleeding thing). All this combined is not good.
Sorry this post is just so long but I’m devastated. One MC I felt I could handle and my body is ok and I’d have a good pregnancy. Now having 2 I feel I have lost all hope. This is literally ALL I want in life. What will I do? I really need someone but I can’t tell anyone. Not even my partner knows.
@MadDoda you’re son in your pic is SO cute. I can’t even get over him. Ah you are so lucky to have him. I really wish I had a little one.
I saw you are pregnant again and I hope things go super well for you! My partners sister was recently told she was having a stillborn but she wouldn’t stop the hope and kept saying “when the baby gets here” etc. Well she had the sweet little baby!!! No one could believe it. She did have a MC before. Miracles happen and I think the mind can really factor into positive outcomes. (I say this after completely losing hope after 1 MC and another one pending 😢). Ugh why is this so hard.
@futuremommy_BD i understand what ur going thru hun....im currently going thru my first MC and its not fun ......me n my hubby were devastated bc we only knew we were expecting for 4 days before i had to make the dreaded trip to the ER
@futuremommy_BD you poor thing! This sounds devastating, I really feel for you. I definitely think you should speak to your partner as you will need support. And try not to give up hope, you'll get there somehow! I have a close friend who tried for around 4 years, she had 3 miscarriages over that time but she now has the most amazing 1 year old son. And she says he was definitely worth the wait. 2 miscarriages can unfortunately still be common, and definitely doesnt mean that you wont ever have a healthy pregnancy. It's so hard to have things taken away when they feel so perfect, but things will get better. @EmJ3 I'm pleased what i said was helpful to you. You are so strong, and seeing what you've been through and where you are now 2 years on always gives me hope so thank you!
@futuremommy_BD I'm so sorry for your losses, it's always do difficult no matter how and when. Thank you, my son is my miracle, had 4mcs since and I'm waiting for 5th... U know even if miracles happen at my stage hope is very unhealthy. It may go OK, but most likely it will not. But as for u, I'm sure it will be OK! Be kind for urself, don't hold back and grieve as much as u need. Hugs
@Catlady220 I’m so sorry dear. First one is so shocking and it sounds like you also didn’t have time to enjoy the feeling. But 1 is very common and I have read it’s easier/quicker typically to get pregnant following an MC (was for me, mine was accidental even). I feel this will be the case for you and you will carry that one all the way!!!
@MrsB2010 thank you! Unfortunately my partner can not handle stuff like this and I don’t want him to think something is wrong with me. Also, he didn’t want to get pregnant so soon this time but he does really want kids one day. So I fear he will be angry (though he wouldn’t show it) or feel duped even though it was an accident for both of us. He is great though trust me! Just not overly supportive on this subject. So I’ll have to somehow hide this one... You’re friend who tried for 4 years, did she find out why it took so long/all the MCs?
@EmJ3 thank you! Do you mind if I ask what was the space out between the MCs and the pregnancy? Also did you find a reason for the MCs?
Baby dust, best wishes, and prayers for all of you! 🌈 for us all soon xoxo
@futuremommy_BD I lost my baby boy in March 2018 then found out I was pregnant in June and Mc in August. I had a few months off ttc then found I was pregnant in December and had Matilda in August 2019.
when I lost Jacob I had a blood clotting disorder that rectified itself. I had it with the others too but they were very unsure as to whether it could affect pregnancy. Any way I took steroids with Matilda as a precaution. They still don’t think it has any connection to the blood clotting disorder so god knows!!!
I know doctors don’t usually investigate until 3 MCs- which is just ridiculous. However it does show you that 2 mcs is quite common unfortunately.
@futuremommy_BD by the way, my hubby really struggled after the 2 losses. I couldn’t really mention ovulation or anything. I just used opks myself and didn’t mention it. It became to scientific and too pressured for him. He didn’t want me to go through the pain of another Mc but for me, there was no other way and it was a risk I felt I had to take to get our rainbow!xxx
Replies
I can’t believe I am here again. In October after “kinda” TTC for 4 months, I found out I had a blighted ovum. It started with bleeding and cramps which brought me to the ER. I have heard of a lot of MCs, fertility issues, and even stillbirths in my larger circle. I always was worried I’d struggle to get pregnant or not be able to as it’s honestly the only thing I’ve ever wanted in this world. Well it looks like I can get pregnant, just not keep them. I had barely got to enjoy the sensation of pregnancy before it was ripped away at 6 weeks. I had the D&C to get it over with quick but I honestly felt fairly ok and at peace after. More than less women I know have had MCs and I felt like no big deal!
@EmJ3 I'm pleased what i said was helpful to you. You are so strong, and seeing what you've been through and where you are now 2 years on always gives me hope so thank you!
when I lost Jacob I had a blood clotting disorder that rectified itself. I had it with the others too but they were very unsure as to whether it could affect pregnancy. Any way I took steroids with Matilda as a precaution. They still don’t think it has any connection to the blood clotting disorder so god knows!!!
I know doctors don’t usually investigate until 3 MCs- which is just ridiculous. However it does show you that 2 mcs is quite common unfortunately.